


Moonlight Madness

by ahimsabitches



Category: Golden Girls, Mad Max Series (Movies)
Genre: Other, this is the funniest thing I've ever written wtf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-08-29 16:29:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16747522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahimsabitches/pseuds/ahimsabitches
Summary: Done for a prompt on Tumblr: Joe, Peeps and the Bullet Farmer hanging out like the Golden Girls! Based on S7E20/21, which is one of my all-time favorite episodes. It's up on Youtube.





	Moonlight Madness

“Richard, do you think this medal compliments my bosom?” Joe asked, turning in the smudgy, fractured mirror so that the bent steel perched on his plastic armor caught the bright sun pouring in through the windows of his chamber and gleamed dully.

“Sir, if it could cheer, it would leap off your bosom and do a dance,” Richard crooned, fondling a nipple.

Joe smiled behind his horsetooth mask. “You know this is a priceless family heirloom. I’ve only worn it three times in my life, and every time it marked the beginning of a passionate romance.”

“Joe, isn’t that the cursed amulet that came from my family in Sicily before the Water Wars?” Kal asked.

Richard leaned over on the old threadbare couch as far as his own girth would allow him. “No, Major, it’s… it’s just a piece of steel,” he whispered.

“And this time,” Joe said, “I’ve decided to wear it with  _clothes_.”

The Organic Mechanic, at the medical chair behind them preparing for Joe’s weekly prostate exam, snorted a chuckle.

“You have the list, Richard?” Joe asked without turning. “For my Moonlight Madness party?”

“Yes sir, but… you seem to have forgotten to invite…. anyone that’s not a young nubile full life girl between the ages of eighteen and twenty-two.”

“Oh, don’t worry, Richard. The Organic will be there. You’ll have someone to talk to. When he isn’t busy examining the girls.”

“Hey, no fair,” the Organic said. “I had to talk to ‘im last time!”

**Later**

Joe stood fuming in the corner of the Dome by the piano. Kalashnikov mosied up beside him.

They both watched the girls gathered in a giggling cluster of smooth flesh and luscious hair and thin, twitchy legs around Richard, who smiled expansively, two girls on one knee and one on the other. One hand rested on the small of a cute blonde’s back; the other on his nipple. A particularly busty brunette toyed playfully with the padlock and chain strung between Richard’s nipples. He chuckled deeply and a ripple of squealy giggles swelled from the clot of girls.

Kalashnikov sipped ‘shine that had been fuel for his rig only two distillations ago. “Told you your medal was cursed.”


End file.
